There's this really great song by Guns N' Roses "November Rain". The lyrics aren't groundbreaking, but they're still great to listen to on any night when you're feeling alone or just in the mood for a rock love ballad. If you're a fan of 80s rock or just bored, please take a look at the lyrics they're pretty sweet. However, it's the guitar that really makes the song.
I hated growing up, and by that I meant going through high school and parts of college. Sometimes the "journey" was horribly uncomfortable, confusing, and lonely. I'm sure everyone feels lonely, but I have this desperate need to not be alone. Yet, when I'm in crowds or invited out, I just want to be alone. Some people have told me before that they notice I'm a pretty lonely person or I don't seem to like being alone. I guess it's true.
Ever since elementary school I was always searching for my "best friend".. you know, the type where you could share everything, fight occasionally, but never get sick of each other. As time went on, I started to worry the best friend didn't really exist. Now, it's too late. We're all too old to have a best friend, and no one has the time to just hang out. Everyone seems content on just being acquaintances; shit, we're even friends with our sworn enemies. Deep down, I'm needy and afraid of being alone. Maybe it's because I was the oldest child so I had to do a lot of things on my own, which should mean that I'm okay with being independent. I am, but it also caused me to constantly question my next move or feel alone as I make a path of "firsts" in my life.
I'm sure this isn't new or special, just a case of being scared and lame.
P.S. I know the picture kind of doesn't match the tone of this entry, but I'm trying to stay positive in the end. That's me during AZ Sib Revealing last Fall 07
