Happy Fat

Everyone gets it. When and how.. it's hard to tell. It usually happens when you first get into a relationship. You find someone who adores you as much as you adore them. Now you find yourself spending all your free time with this person... and what are you mostly doing with this person? Eating. You eat because eating makes you happy, and if you're already happy, what do you do? You go out to eat to celebrate your happiness. Fast forward a few months and you're staring in the mirror at a happier, but rounder version of yourself. How do I know all this? Well, fuck cuz it happened to me.

Everytime I get into a new relationship that's actually meaningful I let a few belt notches go and treat myself to a bit of food heaven. Then, I start taking pictures to document my happiness. The trouble starts when on a lone and random Saturday night I decided to look back at old pictures of myself from a couple of years ago. Shit. I actually gained weight since I was 20 years old. Sure it's been 3 years give or take, but to noticeably gain weight since then depresses the fuck out of me. I've been giving it a lot of thought and I'm disappointed in myself. I made a resolution about 6 months ago to lose weight and be healthier. I am much healthier than I was 3 years ago, but I'm definitely not as active as I used to be. Ironically, even though I have a gym membership and all.. when I was in school I was constantly running around from class to class and walking to shuttle/bus stops everyday. Now, I sit on my ass for 8 hours and I get up to walk about 50 feet maybe twice a day to get water or pee. What the fuck.

I don't want to be the girl that gained weight. No one is ever happy with their "happy fat".